Communication

Sometimes There is No Mirror

I learned about feedback in prison.

It goes back to the earaches I had when I was a kid.

Because of those earaches, my doctor told my mom the swim team was a bad idea.

No swim team. Not even swim lessons.

YouTube taught to me freestyle.

That was a mistake.

A few years ago I swam a race from Alcatraz Island to the SF shore.

The guy with the best time could have swam to SF and back before I finished.

After that humiliation, I got a swim coach. Not a video of a swim coach. Or an AI one.

I got a dude named Chris.

At my first lesson, Coach Chris told me to swim to the other end of the pool. Freestyle.

When I looked back, he hollered, “Dude, you swim like you’re drowning.”

“You’re not smooth.”

I thought I was doing what the YouTubers said to do.

I thought I was swimming like a lifeguard.

Instead I looked like I needed one.

Because I needed someone else to look at me, and tell me how I look.

There’s no mirror in the pool.

There’s no mirror in much of life.

And there’s no substitute for good feedback.

From people who can see you from all sides.

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